Where'd That Computer Guy Go?
Sometimes They Snap, Sometimes They Quit,
and Other Times they Just Vanish.
Here's Why.
Article Date: 10 April 2008 Article by:
Howard Sherman, The King of All Geeks. Before I even started RoyalGeeks.Com back in 2004 I've
seen computer guys come and go in very odd ways and for very strange
reasons. One chap who I'll call Colin made my acquaintance
when I first took over Postmark Plus back in 2003. He even wanted to
put a sign in my window advertising his computer repair services. Although
RoyalGeeks.Com wasn't even a twinkle in my eye at the time I declined,
telling him I may wish to offer computer services one day...
Ironic how that turned out, isn't it?
Turns out Colin was diagnosed with a disability and simultaneously decided
to taking up writing instead. I think he moved out of state. I
haven't seen him in years.
One of my oldest clients owns a liquor distribution company serving many
port cities along the East Coast and Gulf Coast. THEIR old computer
guy decided to buy a camper, drive up to Maine or New Hampshire or something
and live his life like Grizzly Adams.
At the time, I could not fathom why he did that. Nor did I care. As far as I
was concerned, that just meant there's more for me and my band of merry men.
Clarity eventually came calling. Some months later I ended up firing that
client because they paid my invoices far too slowly AND re-directed their
abject ignorance of computers to somehow being my fault.
Suddenly I understood. Things like that would make a
weaker-minded man weep and want to leave town.
So why do computer guys wig out? I attribute their sudden and dramatic shift
to "Computer Guy Burnout". Computer Guy Burn Out happens when the
computer guys receives a never-ending barrage of phone calls, emails and
appointments morning, noon and night from clients clamoring for computer
support.
The computer guy can work like a machine clocking 18 hour work days,
checking email 3-4 times per hour and returning customer phone calls as late
as 8-9pm just to raid the fridge for what little morsels might be in there
to help eat something he'd like to think is dinner.
He collapses into bed at 10pm in a semi-catatonic state just to wake up at
5am and do it all over again.
And when he does, a half dozen people are yelling at him because they had to
wait a few hours for a return phone call. "Aren't I an important
customer?" "Doesn't my business matter to you?" they howl.
We cringe. We wince. We try and explain to the customer that
we're just one man and we can only get so much done in a day. Some
customers understand. Others don't. Others won't. Those
cruel souls have long since forgotten about you and moved on to the next
computer guy in the phone book in the four hours since they left you a
voicemail and you returned the phone call.
The Computer Guy on the brink of burnout dies inside when he hears the
glorious news he lost another customer because he just couldn't move fast
enough and do more work in the 24 hours God gives us each day.
But how can the computer guy possibly do any more work unless he hooked
himself up to an intravenous feed of caffeine and gave up sleeping...?
I know that feeling well. That was my life up until two weeks ago.
I had clients begging me to throw my phone out of the nearest window because
I was receiving, on average, one phone call every ten minutes while I was
sitting in their office trying to do the work they
were paying me for.
How could I serve the client I was with as three or four other customers
were begging me to take their phone call?
This whole arrangement was not fair to my customers, it was unfair to my
crew who were sitting there idle as I drilled through ten client issues
while eating a chicken wrap as I sped down Route 34 in a geek mobile.
And, oh yeah, having to eat my lunch as I spill salsa on my pants and talk
into a cell phone on speaker phone as I whiz down the road to my next
appointment was entirely unfair to me.
It was unbearable to my two year old daughter who had barely seen me in
three days despite the fact I was not out of town on a business trip.
Mrs. Sherman, bless her heart, was an understanding and kind soul.
I had to stop this insane pace or I was going to implode.
Gang -- this is when the other computer guys go nuclear, buy a
Winnebago and drive out to the country never to return...
Other, even weaker souls may consider the Uzi-in-the-McDonald's
option...
Fortunately for me (and my clients!) I have a wide array of resources at my
command which the other guys don't.
First and foremost - -I've got my mind. I put my mind to work on this
problem in the spare three or four minutes I had to myself each day.
I started with a simple question: What is going on here?
I was working too much IN my business and not nearly enough ON my business.
The result? There were literally not enough hours in the day as people lined
up to talk to me, the man, about their computer issues.
I felt somewhat flattered that most people PREFERRED waiting for me rather
than talking to any of the four other geeks I keep on the payroll.
That means I am damned good at what I do. And that is most assuredly
so.
But I am still one man. A force of one, yes, but just one person all
the same. And I was trying to handle every single customer myself.
Meanwhile, I had a couple of Royal Geeks at any given time sitting by the phone hoping it
would ring like a desperate soul in search of a last-minute date on Saturday
night...
Clearly, there was something wrong with this picture.
I went back to the drawing board and redesigned the entire customer system
-- from initial phone call to appointment to follow up.
OK so what if your computer guy didn't run for his life screaming as
he escaped the maw of madness....?
Maybe they were bad businessmen. There were two computer stores that
closed on Route 34 -- one in Old Bridge, the other in Aberdeen. The
dude in Aberdeen looked like an extra from an Indiana Jones movie.
Yet another computer store in Aberdeen -- in the Shoprite on Lloyd Road --
also just packed it in not soon after he opened his doors.
One day you saw 'em -- and the next day you didn't. Store closed.
Let's face it -- they were paying ludicrous amounts of money on rent,
stocking shelves with obsolete products at inflated prices and never had the good stuff people
really needed.
And, oh yeah, since they worked alone they had to handle every single
customer themselves WHILE keeping a store running.
Don't be too surprised if another three or four area computer stores turn
off the lights and lock the doors permanently before 2008 is out...
Then there's the computer guy who just shouldn't BE a computer
guy....
One dude in the Freehold area ran a full-color, half page ad in all the
local papers last year. Curious by this new competitor I decided to check
him out....
Ring ring
Him: "Hullo, computa service." (That's my best approximation of a gruff
voice with a spiky New York accent delivered through the text of a web
page.)
Me: "Hi. I think I need a firewall. How much to set one up?"
Him: After some hemming and hawing he tells me "hundred bucks."
Me: Uh, thanks.
Another phone call to a competitor led to a startling discovery...
According to Jim (not his real name) Yahoo.Com is passing spyware
infections! My bullshit detector roared to life and told me this guy was
doing the entire computer support business a damned bad turn.
Lying, weasly turds like this will disappear too; just as soon as enough
folks wise up to their despicable tactics.
Don't worry gang, your friend neighborhood RoyalGeeks.Com is here for the
long term with dependable, honest computer support service at fair prices.
Computer Service Right Now....
RoyalGeeks.Com
(877)-797-GEEK
(that's 877-797-4335)
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